Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Which do you prefer: Razzie or Oscar Awards?

On lighter news, the Oscar nominations are out. Yet again there is a list of movies that no one has seen, nor interested in going to see. Yet again better movies and actors are being ignored completely. Yet again Hollywood disconnects from the average American.

Not that any of this is a new thing. And some of the actions are not surprising. I mean Denzel Washington will not receive another Oscar probably for some time, if ever again. Why? Because he has already won an Oscar, and once you win you often get place in the back of the list for a while. Exceptions exist for that rule, notably Tom Hanks, but it is a general rule that once you win you won’t win again for a long time, no matter how good you are or the films you are in.

So don’t expect to see Jaime Foxx, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Hudson, Denzel, Halle Berry, or a host of others any time soon. The fact that everyone I just mentioned is Black is secondary to my prior point. The abovementioned are prominent in that the Oscar Academy is almost a half-century behind the American movie-goers in recognizing the ability of African American, Hispanic/Latino, and other minority entertainers. That goes for directors, movies, genres, actors/actresses, and virtually ever individual behind the camera lens that helps to create the films we love.

[Special interest should have been noted for Don Cheadle and his movie Darfur Now. He is one of the few Americans, and even fewer celebrities/entertainers that are out there trying to improve the lives of millions that deserve and need it.]

So rather than discuss the constant myopia that the Oscar Academy views films via, I will instead speak about the Razzies. They are the recognition of the absolute worst films that are churned out each year. In general these awards are more in line with what the average person feels, and is unbiased in terms of race.

The nominees this year include the following:

    Worst Picture
    Bratz – ** anorexic dolls with attitudes on film- Joy!
    Daddy Day Camp
    I Know Who Killed Me
    I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
    Norbit

    Worst Actor
    Nicolas Cage, in Ghost Rider, National Treasure and Next
    Jim Carrey, The Number 23
    Cuba Gooding, Jr., Daddy Day Camp and Norbit
    Eddie Murphy, Norbit
    Adam Sandler, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry – ** Did he really think this would work, or did they pay him a lot of money?

    Worst Actress
    Jessica Alba, Awake, Fantastic Four, and Good Luck Chuck - ** sort of cute, but no ability and the movies she’s in prove it
    Logan Browning, Janel Parrish, Nathalia Ramos AND Skyler Shaye, Bratz (real close with Alba)
    Elisha Cuthbert, Captivity
    Diane Keaton, Because I Said So
    Lindsay Lohan, I Know Who Killed Me

    Worst Supporting Actor
    Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean
    Kevin James, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
    Eddie Murphy, Norbit
    Rob Schneider, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
    Jon Voight, Bratz, National Treasure September Dawn and Transformers - ** Because of Bratz, but Transformers was a waste as well

    Worst Supporting Actress
    Jessica Biel, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
    Carmen Electra, Epic Movie
    Eddie Murphy (as Rasputia), Norbit
    Julia Ormond, I Know Who Killed Me
    Nicolette Sheridan, Code Name: The Cleaner - ** An obvious winner! Please no more films starring Cedric

    Worst Screen Couple
    Jessica Alba & either Hayden Christensen in Awake; Dane Cook in Good Luck Chuck; or Ioan Gruffudd in Fantastic Four - ** winner for Fantasic Four, no chemistry or even talent there
    Any Combination of Two Totally Air-Headed Characters in Bratz
    Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me
    Eddie Murphy (as Norbit) & either Eddie Murphy (as Mr. Wong) or Eddie Murphy (as Rasputia) in Norbit
    Adam Sandler & either Kevin James or Jessica Biel in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

    Worst Remake or Ripoff
    Are We Done Yet? (remake of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House)
    Bratz (A rip-off if there ever was one)
    Epic Movie (Rip-off of every movie it rips off)
    I Know Who Killed Me (Rip-off of Hostel, Saw and The Patty Duke Show)
    Who's Your Caddy (Rip-off of Caddy Shack) - ** while the host of films that are horrible or blatant rip-offs and remakes of far better films, this had to be the most poorly done concept yet

    Worst Prequel or Sequel
    Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem
    Daddy Day Camp
    Evan Almighty
    Hannibal Rising - ** they were drunk when they gave this a greenlight right? Drunker still when they didn’t go straight to DVD I bet
    Hostel: Part II

    Worst Director
    Dennis Dugan, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
    Roland Joffe, Captivity
    Brian Robbins, Norbit
    Fred Savage, Daddy Day Camp - **Funny is not in your vision
    Chris Siverston, I Know Who Killed Me

    Worst Excuse for a Horror Movie
    Aliens vs Predator: Requiem - **Hey why follow any of the established rules or concepts behind the actual success and interest in the original movies. Screw it up in ever more boring ways and be original
    Captivity
    Hannibal Rising
    Hostel: Part II
    I Know Who Killed Me

Now that is a group of horrendous films. I could add a few easily to that list, and in fact I did with my review of 2007 movies. How Codename: The Cleaner, Underdog, and The Invasion missed all these lists amazes me.

But Bratz, a film dedicated to anorexia, poor attitudes and the dolls that promote it, easily belongs here. Did anyone even see the film? My winners were noted in the lists above.

I want to bring up another list I mentioned last year.

“I equally reveled in the failure of equally America hating films Rendition, Lions For Lambs, and Redacted. The abject failure of these films to garner any interest is a testament to the good taste of everyone except the people who greenlighted them. I can only hope that the actors in these films were doing them for the paychecks and not their political views. I would also say that if the producers and writers of these films feel that strongly (especially Mark Cuban) give up your citizenship and move to Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan or any other nation that will take you. I will not mourn your loss or the money you have.”


Every movie in that quote should get a special Razzie for America hating, Bin Laden loving, MoveOn.org loving, loserfest!

Well those are my thoughts. I hope this year will be better, but if Hollywood is anything it’s consistent.

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