Danger for kids on the internet

I have a nephew that is pre-teen, and is on a social network. Recently I found that he had made changes to his page on that site. And I was amazed and upset by what I saw. And I wonder if other children have done the same thing. [By the way, all the things have been since changed and discussed with him by his father - so he understands why they were inappropriate.]

One of the first things that was on the site was the fact that he had pictures up that showed him and his friends holding up the moronic 'westside' and other similar gang signs. Beyond looking as bad as anyone who does this, it alarmed me to think that some fool was trying to recruit him and his friends into the dead-end life that is a gang member.

As it turned out he and his friends had no understanding of what the symbols meant. They had just seen them many times on television and thought it looked cool. Which is the idea I suppose. But he also did not realize that fools that believe in this kind of lifestyle also might hurt or kill him and his friends, because it was an insult to their gang or he represented an invasion to their 'territory', or simply because he had no connection to their abusive, illogical, warped group.

Another problem was the fact that his age was incorrect. This was done because he and his friends did not want to be seen as kids. For some reason they felt that being their actual age was a bad thing. That they were left out of some major positive the website provided only to adults.

They had no idea that this minor act helped to put them in danger of the pedophiles and other warped individuals that surf the net. They roam around enough as is, they need no help in finding children. And when my nephew mentioned that he would never be tricked into meeting with or otherwise contacting a stranger because he is too smart - I had to remind him that many adults are far smarter and have more experience than even the highly intelligent boy he is.

But the really big things that bothered me was the ease he had in finding and using graphics from a site that had an altered image of Microsoft's Word package.

The Word graphic is a box that has the picture of 5 famous rappers on it. Each in a state of rapper ghettofabulousness. Underneath were the words "Yo it's Word (n-word)". This was thought to be funny. Yet when asked there was no reason why it was funny, it just was.

So I then asked a simple question.

"Does it make sense that all these rappers and people want to be 'ghettofabulous' but everyone in the ghetto, especially the rappers, all want to get out? How good can the ghetto be, and living a life based on the 'ghetto', when no one wants to be there - even with money - except drug dealers."

His answer was simple as well. "It doesn't make sense at all."

I then asked the really big question.

"Do you know what the n-word means?"

He did not. He had no clue, though he has heard it in music and movies. He just thought it was another word.

That might sound great to some but that troubled me. Because the meaning of the word has not changed. If the CEO of Procter&Gamble used it in a interview he would be fired and sued if possible. The same would happen to the record executive that rappers work for (many of whom will not allow that word to be used in their own home). Because the meaning never changed, no matter the color of who says it.

So I told him about the fact that the n-word was used to describe slaves. That it was used to describe people just like him and I that were treated worse than dogs. And I told him about all the people that died so that he would never have to be called that word. Like uncounted numbers of slaves, Blacks that fought in the Civil War, WWI & II, Korea, Vietnam. Men like Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. All those that died in the civil rights movement and so many others.

I told him the truth of the meaning of the word, and how it is defined in part as the single worst word in the english language. That to be called that has no comparison or equivalent come-back.

And then I told him how lucky he was to be alive today. Because he has never been called that. But I have been, as has my mother and father and so on. That he never has to fear being called that (I hope) because he was playing in school with a White kid, or because a White girl liked him. The world is mostly better than that, but not entirely.

And I told him the truth that the legal system once said that if a White person called a Black person that word, and the Black person hit them they would not go to jail. Because it was an incendiary term, a provoking term. And that's why the White owners of record companies can't say the word, but pay rappers to do it for them. And I asked him this

"How important do you think it is that the law was made about this word? How big a word do you think it is?"

He thought it very important. And he understood it in a very different and unfunny way.

I say all that to bring up this point. It's not enough to just watch what children are doing on the internet. We all, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents, need to be involved. We all need to explain why some things are wrong, and what the history of these things are. Because if we don't kids will use them, act on them, to their detriment.