Well it's official now. I declare myself a Democrat. After a wee bit of drink and much deliberation I have converted to the political party of popularity.
Yes, I now affirm my belief in the political party responsible for the 13th and 14th Amendments. I too join the party that all African Americans have believed in since 1865. Like the South I too believe in the mantra of the Democrats.
I don't know how I held off following the lead of President Barack Obama. This is the leader that has lived up to every campain promise. I have sat back and had casual time to read each law for 5 days before he has signed them into law. I have luxuriated in the thought that every American soildier is returning from Iraq this year. I have beheld the decisive and exact nature of the economic plans he has put forth for the nation.
I can now join the most liberal of supporters, like Bill Ayers, in the thought that President Obama has created retro-active laws crushing private business. Truly the root of all evil, private business, has been defeated as the Government now can take control of any venture, and dictate the proper salary of every employee. And on the horizon is a health care system that the Government can dictate as efficiently as the Post Office.
Yes, I am part of the Party of Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. Congressional representatives so astute as to know they have approved laws and recommended investments that cannot be questioned by any American. I am part of the Party of Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, who have ensured that not one dime of my future earnings will be under my sloppy and independant control. Because only the Democrat Party truly understands the needs of the poor and those people of color, and other Americans.
Only in the Democrat Party are the needs of subservience understood. Because as a person of color, and an American, they know I cannot fathom the repercussions of deficits beyond the record of history. They know that the true definition of stimulus is social reform and not action. They know that I prefer to be fed fish rather than taught to fish.
Yes, today, April 1st 2009, I realize that listening to every socialized nation in the world warning of the economic perils facing our nation is folly and jealousy. I realize that having leaders that cannot pay their taxes as they expect me to do in droves is fair and equitable. That to expect those that would kill America under misbegotten beliefs to falter because of mere words is acceptable. That every nation in the world will love my country if we just do as they say is a mantra I must recite 24 times a day.
Only in America can I expect to have politicians determine my worth and pay. Only in America I should wish for the Government to determine my health plans. Only in America should I shun the soldiers that provide my freedom. Yes it is this kind of America that I now subnit my fealty to.
Because on April 1st 2009, the world is open to understanding. On this day North Korea will end it's plans to create a nuclear weapon. On this day China and the world will buy American debt like honey flowing down a river. On this day police will assume I am innocent of all crimes I never enacted as never before, and the justice system will punish all before them equally under the law. Yes this is a day to be heralded for years to come.
I no longer have the need to do math, since the Government will provide my income and balance my checkbook for me. I no longer need to care what contracts I create as the Government will decide which are lawful and those that are not. I no longer need to strive for success as the Government will mandate what I can sell and what is best for the world at large to buy.
The joy I now feel as a Democrat of far-left leaning is of immeasurable levels. Because I have a President that ignores the losses to my retirement funds, or my employees. There are untold numbers of rich that can be depleted to ensure my ability to live as the Government sees best. And I have no fear for my children as they will inherit a world of green energy and carbon-less emission once the techonolgy is created, if ever.
In fact those children will be free of the burden of marraige or children pf their own as they can freely abort any child at any age, and any stage of pregnancy. Even better, they will be able to engineer the look and intelligence of that child, if the Government does not do so for them in its infintie wisdom. And lest we wish to worry, every drug known to man will be accessible to beat down any thought of doubt.
Even better is the thought that now as a proponent of the Democrats, I will be able to sit back and watch programming that has been duely controled to be fair and balanced. I will no longer need to question the information provided to me, since the Government will ensure it passes muster. I will be ensured that the race to an ever lower common denominator will be matched by the number of channels providing such copied and flawed material. Material that I might add will be open to any viewer, regardless of age or mentality or content.
Oh, the exstacy that lies before me. Without the need for independant thought I can now toil away my days at a Government approved job, at Government approved wages, with an assurance of a Government approved retirement. Because President Obama, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi know far better what is needed than I. Even Rep. Barney Frank, with his dilegent eyes watching for any politically motivated question of impending peril, will protect my every move.
So on April 1st 2009, I join the Democrat Party. Because what else would anyone do on All Fool's Day?
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