A while back, before news first broke of Jon Gosselin and Kate Gosselin divorcing, I took a position that the media was being unfair to the couple. I defended his ability to go out with friends to have a drink. To have time to just be around friends and have a little time off from the 8 children that required 98% of his time everyday. At that time it looked like the media was just dad-bashing.
Since that time Jon Gosselin has done just about everything he can to make me feel bad about the position I took. He has flaunted the broken marriage, separated himself from his kids, and allowed the media into a divorce that is anything but friendly. He has become more of a louse than anything else.
I still believe that the media intrusion into the life of the family did not help anyone in the Gosselin family. Maybe they would have stayed together without the cameras, maybe not. But there is no question that the added stress of public life did not help the situation.
That said, this is even worse for the kids than I imagined. Not only are their parents divorcing badly, essentially before millions and directly in front of those they live around, but they will have the added issues that any child goes through when parents divorce. Plus there is the fact that neither parent seems to be a shining beacon of decorum..
Perhaps the thing that upset me most is the fact that Jon Gosselin took $180,000 from the joint account he had with Kate. I doubt if that was every penny in the account, at least I would hope not as the needs of 8 children require ample funds available. Such an act irritates me, and I have to comment on it though I prefer to leave the private issues of celebrities alone.
It is a sad statement of our society when a man can remove the security blanket of his family solely to cause pain and anger to his wife. Especially when the media is there to watch it all happen. It's a negative message at every level. Young men are being taught that fame and money are far more important than marriage and family responsibilities.
I like to think that Jon Gosselin is above that. But that is not what is being reported. And the media is all over both of the Gosselin's enough that even if there is a media bias against all fathers, his actions still stand as problematic.
Even his recent cease-and-desist letter to the TLC network about filming his children takes on a disingenuous tone. It seems more akin to a punishment for Kate Gosselin than to protect his kids. The money and fame was fine while he was there, but suddenly when he is not it is too much. That may not be the way it is, but it does look that way.
Ultimately I feel bad for the children. If there were no other reason for the parents to be quiet publicly, to appear amenable, it would be for the sake of the kids. Because while the tabloids are laying the groundwork for a lifetime of painful memories for the children, none of them will be around for any positive effect on those kids. Once all this is over, the tabloids will walk away, and wait for the poison they have injected to these kids lives to surface so they can cash in again.
Jon Gosselin is not helping this. Kate Gosselin has issues as well, not least of which is continuing with the show (to be called Kate plus 8). But as a man, I look at Jon and know that men are supposed to behave better - even in a bad situation. He has made the worst of the media hype believable and fair.
I said this before, there is no upside from all of this. The media and the Gosselin's combined are in the wrong. I just hope they all can shut up publicly and do what is best for the kids. Because when its all said and done, they are really the only ones that matter at all.
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